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TOPIC: Golf jokes

Golf jokes 7 years 10 months ago #32556

  • tmvds
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yeah, I love them. Did a quick search and didn't find another thread, so forgive me if it already exists. My submission:

A young married couple are taking a nice stroll down a long and rather winding road. There was a long way till they got home and there was plenty of time to have a long drawn-out conversation, so the wife decided to ask her husband a question she had on her mind for a long time:
Wife: "If I died, would you remarry."
Husband: "No, I love you too much to get married to a different woman."
Wife: "But you love being married, don't you? So honestly. You'd get remarried wouldn't you?"
Husband: *sigh* "Yeah, I guess I would get remarried eventually"
Wife: "Would you and your new wife live in our house?"
Husband: "Yeah, where else would we live"
Wife: "Would you take down all the pictures of me and you together?"
Husband: "Yeah, it would be very discourteous to her not to. I'd still keep the ones of me and you in my private drawer"
Wife: "Would you two sleep in our bedroom?"
Husband: "Yeah, where else would we sleep?"
Wife: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
Husband: "No, she wouldn't be able to. She's left-handed!"
Driver: Callaway Rogue, UST V5 shaft
Fairway: Titleist 915f 15 degree
Hybrid: Titleist 915
Irons: Ping i200
Wedges: Vokey 56* PXG 60*
Putter: EVNRoll ER9
Ball: Snell My Tour Ball

Re: Golf jokes 7 years 10 months ago #32732

  • BillyMo
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a guy and a lady meet, hit things off pretty well and start dating. As they get to know each other, he tells her that he is open for anything, except saturday mornings he plays 18 holes and tees off at 8. She agrees and says that is fine. They get married, and over the years, still the same thing on Saturdays, golf and home by 1230. until one Saturday, it gets to be about 2 o clock, he doesnt show up. then about 5 oclock, still no sign. as 6 rolls around, he comes back in; wife is worried sick, but is happy to see him at first and waits for an explanation. as he starts, he says " you know I need to tell you something, I am late because I met another woman today and went back to her house" she replies " you no good bastard, I can't beleive you would do something like this! How could you? You played 36 holes today didnt you!?"
Driver- Titleist 913 D3- Ki2Golf Custom Engineered Shaft
Fwy- Titleist 913f 13.5*- Ki2Golf Custom Engineered Shaft
Hybrid- Adams Idea Gold 18*- Ki2Golf Custom Engineered Shaft
Irons- Titleist 710 AP2 3-5, 710 MB 6-9- X100 balanced by Ki2Golf
Wedges- Oil Can Vokey 48,54,60
Putter- Ki2Golf Custom Mill...

Re: Golf jokes 7 years 10 months ago #32738

  • AceOn13
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A horse walks into the bar... :rimshot:

Crazy excited to #BRINGIT with a full on Callaway setup through my bag for 2013! Stoked to #GROWTHEGAME! Eager to #GRIND and #IMPROVE! PUMPED FOR ALL THINGS GB and CLUB WARS!!!

Re: Golf jokes 7 years 10 months ago #33035

  • MulliganAgain
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A guy's boat capsizes and he swims ashore to a desert island. On the beach lies a beautiful woman, her ample bust falling out of a tight wetsuit. She tells him she'll grant him any wish he'd like. "I'd kill for a cigarette,'' he says. She zips down the top of the wetsuit a little, reaches into her bosom and fishes out a smoke. He enjoys. "Anything else" she says. "A cold beer," he says. She zips the top down a little further, reaches in and comes up with a beer. He's relaxing with his beer and his smoke when she says to him, "Would you like to play around" He looks at her excitedly and blurts out, "You got a set of clubs in there, too"
Driver: Cobra Fly-Z,
Woods: Ping G30 3 & 5 Wood
Hybrid: Nike Vapor Flex 4-Hybrid
Irons: WilsonStaff C200 or Mizuno JPX EZ
Wedges: Cleveland Golf RTX 2.0 56*, 60*
Putter: Cleveland Golf - Classic Black Platinum 5.5 with Winn Giant Pistol Grip
Bag: SunMountain PHANTOM

Instagram: sean_likes_golf
The following user(s) said Thank You: Josh_Ross

Re: Golf jokes 7 years 10 months ago #33036

  • jimblane
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this is one of my favorites... posted it before.. but i love it

my pal Bill brought his German Shepard dog to the bar the other night.
Its a lovely dog and always a great ice breaker with the ladies, NEVER fails .
We were just chatting as we sank a few beers, waiting for the place to heat up.. when a kid from the family lounge walked through... he never said anything, just lifted the dogs tail and had a good look at its butt put the tail back down again and went back next door. Strange we thought.. even stranger we thought when his wee brother came through and did the exact same thing.. lifted the tail, had a strange look on his face, ran back next door. Billy said he had had enough of that and if it happened again he was going to find out what the heck was going on. Sure enough, in comes the wee sister.. lifts the tail, shakes her head and turns to walk away.. Billy asks her.. "hey you, what are you doing to my dog?" she answered " there's a bunch of young women through there laughing their heads off talking about some dog with two assholes" ...
DRIVER: AdamsGolf Speedline 9032LS, 10.5*, Aldila Voodoo RNV6

FAIRWAY: AdamsGolf Speedline fairway/hybrid 3+, 15*, Grafalloy Prolaunch axis 70s

HYBRID: AdamsGolf 4Hybrid A4R, 22*, Ideatech H80


  • finim
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One of my favorites...

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.

After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!

Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"

"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.

"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"